A lot has gone on since my last post: we have been very busy closing our plumbing business and moving. Everything has settled now and its back to normality. Mike is working for someone else and not having the business has bought both relief and anxiety. Relief that I don't have to have my brain in "business" gear 24/7, but anxiety as I now try find something to fill the void. It has given me a lot of time to think about our hopes for a child (maybe to much time). I am looking for work but so far have been unsuccessful.
All up I did 10 months of clomid. Only to find out that my doctor should have stopped me at 6. We have used that option and now we are back to the only option left- ICSI (Intra- Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection) a extreme version of IVF. Im not ready for this! I want to run and hide.
So many thoughts running through my head. How will we afford the treatment? Will I feel ok with the procedures? I don't know, its just a lot to stomach.
My period is going on four weeks late now, although after 3 at home pregnancy tests I really don't think that there is anything positive going on. So off I go to have a blood test to tell me the same thing I've heard over and over again - Your not pregnant!
Some days I feel like I can take on the world, today I don't. It has just gone 2 years since our journey started.
Im praying for a miracle- I'm hoping for a miracle.
Tash xx
